Saturday, 7 June 2008

Crap fantasy book covers # 7

Gather around friends, as it's time again to delve into the craptastic world of rubbish fantasy art.

The crap fantasy cover featured this time is L. E. Modesitt's 'Natural Ordermage' (perhaps I ought to do a crap fantasy book title feature as well - that would be right up there).

The scene depicted on this cover is pretty amusing. In the centre we've got Action Man, striking a ridiculous pose with a truncheon. To the left there's some sort of military dominatrix, whose middle finger is evidently suffering from Pinocchio syndrome. Then there's the two comedy thief-types, the first of whom looks like he's trying to take a shit. The other one is no doubt groaning in ecstasy from being tickled by said dominatrix's overgrown finger.

The posture of the characters is terrible, and the apparent magic that is meant to be bursting forth from said dominatrix is about as exciting as the thought of getting up and going to work in the morning.

Rubbish.

Crap-o-meter rating: 8/10

2 comments:

Mark C Newton said...

It looks like a Nazi with a fetish firing a laser beam with his finger into a pirate. When I write those words down it sounds awesome. When I see the picture, I shudder.

RobB said...

This looks like Sweet swiped his own cover of Fires of Heaven with clueless Rand, used the same background and threw in some of his type characters.

Or at the least used the same cityscape.

Mark, sounds like the shell of a cool story!