Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Crap fantasy book covers # 9

I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to have a look at yet another crap fantasy cover so soon after the last one - there's only so much you can take before your eyeballs melt, after all - but I thought I'd risk it.

There's only one redeeming feature that this cover possesses and that's the nice sky in the background. Mmm, pinky and orangey clouds. Nice.

The rest is pretty dire. Not sure who the chap in the centre is (Rand? I'm sure someone can correct me) but he's got crap fashion sense. The shirt is about three sizes too big for him AND he's tucked it into his trousers, which are clearly too small. Clearly, finding a decent tailor in Jordan's world is pretty difficult.

Then there's someone - a young boy? A young girl? An Aes Sedai? - who is clearly freaked out by the distinctly nonthreatening bat creature in the top right corner.

The whole thing is just totally dull. I kind of wonder what sort of discussion the publishers had regarding this cover. Perhaps it went something like this:

Publisher A: "Ok guys, any ideas for cover art for book seven of Jordan's series?
Publisher B: "Book six."
Publisher A: "Damn, you're right. Book six then. Any ideas?"
Publisher C: "Uh, I'm not sure. What about one of those things...what are they called? A trollop?"
Publisher B: "No, a trolloc. Hmm, I'm not sure whether that's a great idea..."
Publisher C: "Um...well, maybe we should base it on a pivotal event from the novel."
Publisher B: "Yeah, good idea. So...what does happen in the novel?"
Publisher A: "Nothing."
Publishers B + C: "Oh."
Publisher A: "Sod it, I'm bored now. How about some bloke in an over-sized shirt and tight trousers with a boy/girl freaking out over a harmless-looking bat?"
Publisher B: "Great idea! Now, where are the donuts?"

Well, it might have been something like that.

Crap-o-meter rating: 8/10.

5 comments:

RobB said...

This was probably the dullest of the US WOT covers and really says nothing about the book itself, which is saying alot about the covers for this series.

Jebus said...

Almost all of the Jordan covers were hopeless. Darryl Sweet can certainly paint a Helluva lot better than me, but bloody hell they have been craptastic covers. But then again he's not the only one out there... :-)

Keep 'em coming!

Gabriele C. said...

Hehe, Fabio-Rand. The oversized shirt and too tight trousers are his trademark. Only the shirt is usually almost falling off Fabio's shoulders. ;)

Though at least the anatomy and prespective in that one doesn't look off as it does on the othet WoT covers.

T.D. Newton said...

Yeah, I had hoped to see an actual "lord of chaos" on the cover of the book titled that way... unfortunately all we get is the "lord of bad fashion choices."

Colinhead said...

Tor, in general, is guilty of so many atrocious covers. I am very sad that they have their hands on Malazan Book of the Fallen now, and hope that Canada continues to get the UK-style covers. I can't take a Tor book onto the bus; it is honestly too embarrassing. Their covers exemplify everything that is wrong with fantasy. I want people to think that fantasy is more than just some sort of weird harlequin romance with dragons involved, because it is!

Damn you TOR!