Wednesday 20 August 2008

Crap fantasy book covers #12

I'm not sure whether August's just been a slow month, or whether I'm subconsciously feeding some perverted crap fantasy book cover addiction, but either way I seem to have found myself gazing - dumbstruck - most of the time at crap fantasy covers. 

They just keep on coming...and keep getting worse. 

Look at this one. The young lady in the middle isn't so bad (if you ignore her hairstyle, which resembles a dollop of shit) but any chance the cover had of actually being anywhere approaching decent is ruined by the figures on either side of her. I mean - if you're going to have characters on the cover, make them look cool for heaven's sake. 

But no. Instead, we have Rumpelstiltskin on the right, sporting a woeful pudding bowl haircut. On the left, we have the result of what happens when you crossbreed an Ewok with Bungle from Rainbow

The only figure that looks ok is the bird, which you can't see anyway because someone thought it would be a great idea to put the author's name over it. Still, it would have made little difference - you can't polish a turd, after all. 

Crap-o-meter rating: 8.5/10


Anrake said...

You just have to see these pitiful covers from Japan for Robin Hobb's Farseer Trilogy. Here's the first half of Assassin's Apprentice.騎士-シヴァルリ-の息子-ファーシーアの一族-創元推理文庫/dp/4488562027/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219316284&sr=8-6

and here's the rest of her books:ロビン・ホブ

I got the Farseer books for my wife, but the covers are so bad she's yet to start reading them and doesn't believe me that they could be any good.

Anrake said...

sorry, that's the second half of Apprentice. It's split in 2 volumes. FYI, here's the first half: